How to Deal with an Alcoholic Partner
Living with an alcoholic partner can be emotionally exhausting, and it often affects your own mental health and well-being.
What’s stopping you?
Not sure if you’re ready to stop drinking? Worried about finding it difficult?
Start quizNavigating such a situation is a complex process that requires patience, empathy, and self-care. Whether you are trying to figure out if your partner has an addiction or you’re learning how to help your alcoholic partner, there are key strategies to keep in mind. Additionally, it’s essential to know when it may be time to leave the relationship, especially in the case of an abusive alcoholic partner.
Alcoholism is a complex and chronic disease that affects millions of people worldwide. Allen Carr’s Easyway tend not to use the word, alcoholism, because it can be unhelpful but it dpes enable us to understand how society views the word and the condition.If your partner is not sure that they are drinking too much it is easy to identify the symptoms.
- Does My Partner Have an Alcohol Addiction?
- The Dos of Living with an Alcoholic Partner
- The Don’ts of Living with an Alcoholic Partner
- How to Live with an Alcoholic Partner
- How to Help an Alcoholic Partner Get Help
- How to Cope with an Alcoholic Spouse
- When is it Time to Leave the Relationship or Marriage with an Alcoholic?
Does My Partner Have an Alcohol Addiction?
Recognising the signs of alcohol addiction is the first step in addressing the issue. Alcohol addiction isn’t always obvious at first, but there are clear red flags. Some signs include frequent and excessive drinking, hiding alcohol or lying about their consumption, and being unable to reduce their drinking despite efforts to do so.
Other behaviours include neglecting responsibilities, becoming irritable or aggressive when not drinking, or drinking to the point of blackout or illness.
If your partner displays several of these behaviours, it may indicate a deeper issue with alcohol.
At this point, seeking advice for partners of alcoholics from professionals or support groups can provide the clarity you need to move forward. Understanding addiction is crucial to determining how to deal with an alcoholic partner in a productive way.
The Dos of Living with an Alcoholic Partner
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Educate Yourself
One of the most critical steps in dealing with an alcoholic partner is to understand the nature of alcohol addiction.
Feeling that addiction is a disease can make you feel hopeless, whereas understanding that it can be easy to get free from alcohol can be highly liberating. It’s important to view the situation through a compassionate lens rather than one of frustration.
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Set Healthy Boundaries
Living with an alcoholic partner without clear boundaries can be emotionally draining. Be clear about what behaviours are acceptable and which are
not. For example, you may need to set limits on drinking at home, around children, or in social situations where alcohol could lead to embarrassment or harm.
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Encourage Treatment
Support for partners of alcoholics includes advocating for professional help. This can take the form of therapy, rehab, or support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Understanding how to help your alcoholic partner starts by encouraging them to seek the right resources. A method that addresses the psychological aspects of the addiction can make it easy to quit alcohol.
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Take Care of Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a priority by engaging in activities that help you recharge emotionally, physically, and mentally. This might involve exercising, pursuing hobbies, or spending time with loved ones who support you. Support groups like Al-Anon can also be a lifeline.
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Seek Outside Support
Often, dealing with an alcoholic partner requires more than just patience—it requires professional help. Individual therapy or group counselling for partners can help you process your emotions and gain valuable coping strategies.
The Don’ts of Living with an Alcoholic Partner
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Don’t Enable the Behaviour
In the desire to help, some partners may unintentionally enable their partner’s addiction. Covering for their behaviour, making excuses, or helping them avoid consequences (like calling in sick to work for them) only enables their drinking.
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Don’t Blame Yourself
You are not responsible for your partner’s addiction, and thinking you can control or cure them will only lead to disappointment. It’s important to understand that their addiction is not something you caused.
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Don’t Argue While They’re Drunk
Attempting to reason with a partner who is intoxicated is often futile and can lead to heightened conflict. Save important conversations for when they are sober, ensuring both of you are in the right frame of mind to communicate effectively.
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Don’t Neglect Your Own Needs
In trying to figure out how to help your alcoholic partner, many individuals forget their own emotional needs. You must balance caring for your partner with ensuring your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
How to Live with an Alcoholic Partner
Living with an alcoholic partner requires emotional resilience and strong boundaries. It’s important to maintain a life outside of the relationship, pursue your interests, and avoid letting your partner’s addiction consume you.
Set expectations for the household, such as no alcohol around children or specific times when drinking is unacceptable.
Another important aspect of dealing with an alcoholic partner is emotional detachment. This doesn’t mean you stop caring about them, but rather that you don’t let their behaviour dictate your emotional state. By doing this, you protect yourself from the emotional turmoil that often comes with addiction.
How to Help an Alcoholic Partner Get Help
Knowing how to help an alcoholic partner starts with a supportive, non-confrontational conversation. When approaching your partner, make it clear that your concern stems from love and care. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel worried when you drink excessively” instead of accusations like “You drink too much.”
From there, suggest professional help, whether it’s therapy, a rehab program, or a support group. Be prepared for resistance, as denial is common among those struggling with addiction. If your partner refuses to seek help, consulting a professional for advice for partners of alcoholics on how to proceed is a wise step.
How to Help an Alcoholic Partner Get Help
Knowing how to help an alcoholic partner starts with a supportive, non-confrontational conversation. When approaching your partner, make it clear that your concern stems from love and care. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel worried when you drink excessively” instead of accusations like “You drink too much.”
From there, suggest professional help, whether it’s therapy, a rehab program, or a support group. Be prepared for resistance, as denial is common among those struggling with addiction. If your partner refuses to seek help, consulting a professional for advice for partners of alcoholics on how to proceed is a wise step.
How to Cope with an Alcoholic Spouse
Coping with an alcoholic partner is often an overwhelming experience. Many partners experience feelings of guilt, frustration, anger, and sadness. In such situations, prioritising your mental health is essential. Seek therapy or join support groups like Al-Anon, which provides support for partners of alcoholics. Taking regular breaks from your partner or situation can also help you recharge emotionally.
Remember, it is not your job to fix them, but you can help support them by encouraging professional treatment and focusing on your own self-care.
When is it Time to Leave the Relationship or Marriage with an Alcoholic?
Deciding when to leave an alcoholic partner is one of the hardest decisions. If your partner’s drinking results in physical or emotional abuse, or if they continually refuse help, it may be time to consider leaving the relationship.
An abusive alcoholic partner can damage your sense of self and safety, making it crucial to prioritise your own well-being. Reaching out for help can seem impossible – but there are many charities that can help – including The Samaritans, where you can speak or email confidentially with someone who is eager to help.
If your partner’s behaviour puts you, your children, or others in harm’s way, then seeking the help of a therapist or legal professional can guide you on how to leave safely.
Recognising when to leave an alcoholic partner is a personal decision, but it’s essential to remember that your well-being and safety matter most. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. It can be easy for someone to quit drinking – even if they consider themselves an alcoholic. There is an inexpensive, drug-free, method that can make it not only easy to quit – but enjoyable too.